What the world needs now

 

Hello reader(s),

While the photo above is me “studying” last semester, it accurately sums up how I’m currently feeling amidst 32 hour work weeks and three university courses. I am very busy (not full-time-working-parent-of-3-busy, just 23-year-old-single-lass-busy) with mid-terms and work. I’ve got professors asking me questions about how much women’s rights have changed in the U.S. since Roe V. Wade (answer: not a whole fuck of a lot) and bar patrons calling me to rant about how the door girl at the bar (that I don’t work at) “interrogated” them on Saturday night even though they’re “34 and weren’t even that drunk” (note: I work at the hotel, not the bar and I am not a manager of either one, and even if I was, I wouldn’t care). Although I am sick of this week and quickly losing optimism about next week and every week until finals and then convocation, I found time to compile a very important list of what I think the world needs (besides love, world peace, and blah blah blah).

Things I think the world needs:

1. More Teyana Taylor. I mean what can’t this demi-god do? She’s a singer, she designed two shoes for Reebok, she is signed to Kanye West’s label G.O.O.D. music, she is in films and T.V. shows, she’s a mother, she’s a wife to NBA player Iman Shumpert, she is most notably a dancer, and she’s only 26. When she’s not dancing in FADE she’s walking in runway shows. And perhaps most importantly, when she’s not recording her new album or G.O.O.D. collaborations, she’s sharing explicit information about her and her husband’s sex life with magazines and Instagram. More of this woman please.

teyana
I meeeeeeeeeean. #HardCore [Teyana Taylor, Instagram]
2. Less boots on Kim Kardashian. #JustBecauseYouCanDoesntMeanYouShould

kim-kardashian-west-balenciaga-boots-1
These might- as-well- be- tinfoil-boots cost $1695. She wore them in the summer and I’ve been confused about them ever since. Impressive candid though.
you-guys-what-in-holy-hell-is-kim-kardashian-wear-2-30099-1469221965-0_dblbig
Someone please explain this to me. It seems like if she likes jeans so much she probably could have just worn jeans.
clear-women-font-b-over-b-font-font-b-knee-b-font-font-b-boots-b
#FootSweat by Yeezy (I want that jacket though)
kim-kardashian-givenchy-boots
This epidemic has been going on forever!! #ThrowBack #ThrowOut

3. Less white men who think white men are the “most discriminated against people right now.” Relax meninists, I’m not saying kill white men, I’m saying educate them so that they don’t think that anymore. Of course, it will have to be a white man teaching them that white male privilege exists, otherwise they wouldn’t believe it. And THAT is the definition of white male privilege.

4. A T.V. show where Bill Nye, Mr. Rogers, and Bob Ross just sit around being friends and sharing truths with each other. I know two of those three people are dead, but holograms are a thing now, so… technology, right?

5. Less food that looks like this:

walking-ched
Where have the buns gone? Why is it cool to not have a bun? How would I even eat this? Can I just have a bun?
avocado-bun
A healthier, yet equally as stupid/difficult to eat “burger.” WHERE ARE THE BUNS? #BringTheBunBack

Also, why does mac and cheese have to be on everything? I know I sound like a hater, but food is out of control.

6. More sexual education/ basic biology lessons. Because, this:

screen-shot-2016-10-18-at-18-24-57
There is about a 97% chance that Ryan thinks white men are the most discriminated against people.

 

7. Less Oscar speeches. Some of them are good, like Viola Davis this year, but most of them feel like a room full of gorgeous people wearing jewelry that cost more than an entire degree at an Ivy League school are sitting together in the world’s largest circle- jerk while they praise the importance of their “craft.” Cut it out. It’s obnoxious.

8. More cunning journalists focusing on things that matter. Like if LaLa Land SHOULD, or SHOULD NOT have won.

vox
Vox just journalism-ing so hard right now. #AlwaysBePrepared

9. More free time for Yorge. All work/school and no play makes Yorge… very tired and unable to blog anything but half-assed sarcastic lists of things the world “needs.”

 

-Yorge

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