Just because you can doesn’t mean you should

Since I was fourteen I have had a style motto (follow Solange on Instagram if you want actual style inspo though). The motto is just because you can doesn’t mean you should. The first time I thought this phrase was when I saw Nicole Scherzinger and her PCDs wearing neon and black monstrosities with a confusing mix of shoulder pads, cut outs, leather (or maybe pleather?), OUT OF CONTROL FAKE TANS, and of course, an impressive display of abs and enhanced ta ta’s. I remember thinking “oh yes, I like these ta ta’s.” I remember thinking “damn, I want to dance on scaffolding and annoy people sitting in a traffic jam by dancing on the hood of their cars.” But I also remember thinking “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Yes. Nicole’s body was all time, during the dark days when bootay was supposed to only be small (though JLO, Amber Rose, and Kim K were already rapidly changing that). But did that excuse the fact that the PCDs (presumably at the hands of a “stylist”) had decided to wear real-life Bratz doll outfits? My fourteen year old self did not think so. I thought this again when I saw very “fit” (just imagine “fit” however you want, it’s all relative anyway) girls at the beach wearing cut offs with their cheeks notably hanging out the bottom. But then- wait, am I a prude?

scherzinger
Queen PCD herself. I’m particularly confused about the disc wrapped around her elbow? (R.I.P. low waisted pants, I refuse to ever let you back into my life.)

Do I only not like these looks because I would prefer that girls not have under- butt- cleavage in their denim shorts? Do I think women should wear more clothing? Am I being a bad, sex-negative feminist? Am I forcing society’s misogynistic standards on my fellow women? Dear mother earth and heavens (possibly or possibly not) above, what have I become? Because I DON’T think women should wear more clothing. I think y’all should wear whatever you want. Wear that thong, wear that abaya, ffs be nakees 24/7 365 if you want. I mean, you do you.

I think my problem with ass cleavage and pants so low that you have to shave your pubes half way through the day in a public washroom to avoid having a five o’clock shadow above your waistband is not that the people wearing those clothes aren’t wearing enough clothes, but that their clothes aren’t doing them justice (imo). Nicole, were those pants really serving you? Your clothes should SERVE you, like the “hot, raw, freaky, and fun”queen you are, or…were? Then again, my favourite outfit currently is a pair of boyfriend jeans I’m far too short to pull off and an XL sweater. Everything looks good if you don’t own a full length mirror (#lifehack). And I have to say, I rage stroke when some people tell me to wear form- fitting clothes because it’s more “flattering.” DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. As demonstrated below, (along with my excellent photography skills) you can see what it looks like when clothing SERVES you (Ciara).

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What my over-inflated sense of confidence and lack of full-length mirror makes me think I look like in baggy clothes.
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Me in baggy clothes.

 

 

Maybe Scherzinger was really FEEELING that look. Maybe she liked getting laser hair removal just to wear those pants. Maybe I’m just a judgemental, hypocritical, ass cleavage hater. #Revelation

I came to this revelation about a year ago, yet it hasn’t stopped me from thinking just because you can doesn’t mean you should every time I see someone trying out the ATHLEISURE trend. As demonstrated below. Unless Rihanna is walking to the gym, there’s really no excuse for this. Athleisure might be the only thing that can get me to utter the phrase “I literally can’t even” unironically. But that phrase is almost as upsetting as this fashion trend. I will excuse Jourdan Dunn because she shares my birthday and maybe she needs to wear athletic gear to chase after her son?

 

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I’m going to go ahead and blame Kanye for athleisure, even though I know it’s not actually all his fault.

Nevertheless, I would really like to try to be less of a judgemental hater. So in an attempt to do that, here is an incomplete list of people I have judged with my just because you can doesn’t mean you should “style” policy. And in the captions you will find a compliment for each person’s outfit, from yours truly (I’m sure they’ll be so thankful).

nicki-minaj-cage
It’s not hard to compliment Nicki. She is a queen, I bow down to her, this video is amazing and I wishiwishwishiwish a bitch wouuuuuuuuuuuld be my friend. But if I have to compliment this outfit specifically I guess it’s probably really hard to balance in those heel-less heels and that lipstick colour probably gets a build-up-line really easily, so good on her for navigating this look so well, while she iced her writses and pissed on bitches.
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Everything about this look right down to the choker really hurts my tummy, and I really want to say that just because she has the body and is a goddess doesn’t mean she should have listened to Kayne when he told her to wear this. BUUUUT in the interest of turning over a new leaf, I will say that those tear offs probably really help with the whole not-being-able-to-go-pee-in-a-lace-body-suit-problem she probably had this day. So this athleisure look was probably functional?
britney-spears-iggy-azalea-music-video-shoot-inf-003
Right, so. It feels a bit harsh to hate on Britney because… she’s been through enough, right? Britney, with this outfit I admire how you resisted the urge to patch ALL the holes in those pants. #PickYourBattles
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Oh man.. this is getting harder. I will just say, in the interest of the child, Paris should probably only have adult-supervised visits with Sofia Richie, right? Actually this is not the worst outfit I’ve seen on Paris. And I’m fairly into the colour of her lipstick? #Complimented
1dress
Nope. Joy Villa, this Make America Great Again dress is unforgivable. I’m done.

Still judgemental, it seems. But what are celebrities for if not to make us feel simultaneously inadequate and superior?

-Yorge

Featured image by [thestylecon.com]

 

 

 

1 thought on “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should”

  1. Just gonna say, fantastic. Wish I could write what I say in my head every day when I see what is worn by women in Powell River, but I might get fired, loose friends and open up a whole lot of judgement on my life. So thank you for saying what I think….
    Ps the ass cheek shorts were the worst fashion “trend”, or was it stirup pants?

    Thanks to your sisters, keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

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